The Secret to Lasting Love

Our Wedding Photo

Okay, so that got your attention.  Everyone wants to find a love that will last, right?  Well the truth is there really is no secret, just the reality that you have to work at it.

Bob and I have been married for 26 years now.  Not really such a big deal when you consider our ages.  We both had other relationships, including marriages that did not turn out the way we would have wished.  But apparently today 26 years is a long time for a relationship to last.

Like any marriage ours has had its ups and downs, good times and bad, joys and sorrows.  It has definitely been a learning experience and at times an endurance test.  The words of the marriage vows are easy to say if you have never experienced the worse, sickness and poorer side.  When those things happen, and they will, you learn what those promises you made really mean.

There are a few things we do that I think contribute to the health of our relationship.

  1.  We say “I love you.”  At least once every day.
  2.  We thank each other.  Bob still thanks me for driving him into town and cooking dinner.
  3.  We are a team and we are at our best when we are working together.
  4.  We hold hands.  Aww that’s so cute — I know.  We get that all the time.  We have always held hands, but now with Bob’s vision problems, it is an even greater reminder to us of our dedication to each other as I help him navigate the world — literally.
  5. We enjoy each others company and we talk to each other — a lot.  What do we talk about?  Everything.  Serious stuff, funny stuff, deep intellectual stuff, mundane daily life stuff, spiritual stuff, current events — you name it we talk about it.
  6.  When hard times come and they do we always end up saying “we’ll get through this” and we always do.
  7.  And finally our faith and conviction that we were brought together for a reason helps keep us together.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

What are some of the ways you work at building a love that will last?

 

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4 thoughts on “The Secret to Lasting Love”

  1. What are some of the ways you work at building a love that will last?

    Working at ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ might be at any time) TOGETHER. Anything and everything has to be worked at. Learning to draw. Knowing how to drive a car. Decorating a house. Training a dog. Knitting. Crafting …. every single thing requires you to work at it in order to make it work.

    Remembering that a marriage or relationship is two people putting 50% in a pot. Sometimes someone can’t put in the whole 50%, so the other person works a little more in order to bulk up that 50% so that it will fill the pot. So long as both people continue to put into the pot and not take out more than they need… and NEVER just take without putting into that ‘relationship pot’ – then things will always be fair.

    Think to yourself that whatever it is that might irk you about your partner, there are things about you which probably irk your partner. Imagine that you have to live with someone who’s a carbon copy of you. What would you find annoying about this new person? Yeah … believe it … you’re annoying. You have to cut your partner some slack – just like they do to you.

    Be thankful for what you have been given. The whole lot could be taken away in the blink of an eye.

    Be thankful that fate brought you together.

    Love that person – in spite of themselves.

    Listen to each other, and actually hear what’s being said.

    Talk to each other. If there’s a problem, then talking about it can help to iron out whatever it is.

    Mr.Cobs and I have been married 37 years in a couple or so months time. I will freely admit that there have been days that I wanted to bang the doors, pots and pans, purely from frustration or annoyance – not regularly, but a couple or so times over 37 years. And I’m absolutely positive that in 37 years he’s gotten thoroughly cross about something(s) or other which have been my ‘fault’. But we’re still married and we still really enjoy each others company. He’s amazing, and I love him to pieces, and thank God for bringing us together almost 39 years ago. (And I remember it as if it were yesterday. A truly fabulous moment.)
    Sending love to you both. Congratulations for your 26 years – and wishing for a whole lot more years still waiting for you both together.
    ~ Cobs. x ❤

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  2. On this Valentine’s Day in my mind it seems to be Thanksgiving. I have always known how special Rogene (Genie) is to me. Yes I love her. She has always been like an glowing ember warming an otherwise cold room on a winter’s day. I did not truly realize the depth of our relationship until my eyes failed and my body kicked my own butt causing me mobility challenges. But it was at this point in my life that Genie truly showed the strength I knew she had all along as she helped me survive through the most horrid five years I’ve ever seen. Want a lasting marriage? Then recognize the one you have and swallow your pride as you show your love and dependency upon that person — openly. Make concessions. Do special things for and with that person. Never look at the other side of the fence where the grass may appear to be greener. It may appear that way, but it seldom is more tasty than staying in the security of the one you dedicated your life to some time ago.

    YES, I LOVE YOU GENIE!
    HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!!

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