An extended period of my life was spent wrestling with sickness, recovery, labels, control and regaining freedom that had been taken or surrendered. I found myself trapped by well-meaning, but misguided people into reliving victimization, blaming myself for what happened in and to my life, feeling that I was somehow “damaged” and had to spend the rest of my life “working on myself” with no end in sight.
My journey was in stages with times of regaining small portions of my life, but then finding new challenges. There were people who simply did not believe my story of Divine healing. There were people who kept trying to pull me back into support groups and into working on myself. The most difficult part has been learning to live healed.
One thing that kept me going on this perilous journey was knowing that someday, there would be an end to the suffering, in this lifetime. I knew deep in my spirit I would come out the other end healed and whole. The one thing I know now that I didn’t know then is that I was always whole. The Creator never saw me as anything less.
There came a time when I had to decided to trust God and keep going. There is no turning back for me. While I feel for people who continue to struggle and suffer, I know my limits. I pray for people. I send healing light. But the one thing I cannot do is get caught up in their drama. As a tender-hearted person this is a lesson I continue to repeat over and over. Maybe someday I will finally learn.
This has been a long process that has taken me from despair to hope, from being broken to wholeness and from captivity to freedom. As I write this, I am reminded of an art piece I was led to create in memory of a gifted healer. The image of the Phoenix came with the words, “the fire reminded us we could fly.”
For those of you walking through fire right now, I offer these words of hope. You can fly!